The Toxic Encounter


These four walls I have built in my mind have faded and are colorless. I have found myself sequestered in a world that has no boundaries. A decade has gone by and the realization of my life has hit me…

I am motionless.

KNOCK  KNOCK

My thoughts are wailing as a hand strikes the wood on the front door and all at once we stop. Yes me, myself, and my thoughts all stopped and focused on reality. Serenity was my love for the moment but as quick as it appeared it had also perished. Heart-stricken, my heart shatters into pieces crashing infinitely.

My subconscious starts barking like a dog at my conscious mind and physical body causing anxiety to stir like the “The eye of the storm”.

Meaning, the physical appearance of what was taking place within me was visually peaceful at first glance, and as the storm progressed you could see the damaging winds prevail in my eyes as my emotions bled through the pores in my skin. All the while the hairs on the nape of my neck became erect.

My gait could suggest paranoia, the way I shuffled towards the door. my heart galloped endlessly as if it was to reach a destination that does not exist. As I extended the heels of my feet into the air to peer through the Judas hole it felt like my heart impeded from the anxiety of not knowing the unknown.

-Who is knocking at my door?-

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Shan Bae

my name is shan bae. i am a 26 year old married mother and artist. i enjoy blogging, writing poetry, making jewelry, and creating art. i created this website to have a place to share my poetry, encourage people to write, and sell my jewelry.

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