The Coexistence of Love, Fear, and Depression

**Trigger Warning**

So here I am pondering on many things as I always do and I ask myself so many questions but there is one that always comes back to me.

What’s the rush?

I am scared! In fear everyday that I will never be able to feel uneasy about my task being completed before I die. In fear that I won’t get another chance to start over or handed a new mission to complete.

What if this is my last mission?

I worry about my health everyday. As a kid I would stay put not doing too much but doing just enough so in case something happened I wouldn’t ruin the fun. It was safer to watch everyone else explore and experiment. That was safe!

What if I did what they were doing and died because I overexerted myself?

Living in fear constantly I became the fear and laid there gaining more control each second. It all got out of control! I was only supposed to remain there until these afflictions left my body.

They never left. They are still here.

Each day I wake up feeling everything but letting go pieces of the fear I clung to. Fear kept me safe but I lost so much time because of it.

I tell myself everyday I deserve to live because if I don’t my spirit will die regardless of my body. That’s more painful than the loss of your physical body before your spirit is ready to go.

– Depression, Fear, Love trying to coexist

Share your thoughts...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s