A Colored White Girl
When I was younger my differences were brought to my attention by the race of people I was told I belonged to
Before then I had no sense of skin tones and what the hell melanin was
I begin to compare
And before then I had no sense of self awareness
But here I was stepping into my new light surrounded in darkness
AloneWith no reason for being treated with such rudeness
Silenced
Left alone to purposely be forgotten
My skin wasn’t chocolate so I wasn’t black
I was white by default
Nobody likes a white girl at a black school who seemingly excels in her white privilege
But I had none of that
I was far from that
Even though in my eyes I had hair just like them
They didn’t see that
Even though my parents were brown unlike me they didn’t see that
Even though I listened to the 90s hits
Jammed to blues at a bar with my black relatives
They didn’t see that
I was born black and yet because my skin was as yellow as the sun I couldn’t be black
They threw stones at me like I had been sentenced to death
Slowly I lost sight of my right to be here
To be loved
To know what it was I did so wrong to deserve such torment
I was meant to perish
Without understanding of why I couldn’t be different
I was white to them and a colored girl to the people they hated
Me
A white colored girl
12 Comments
bravingmentalillness
All I have to say is…. yes!!! Say it!!
Shan Bae
I know! Exactly how I felt when I wrote this. I’ve been trying to write about this for a year. I finally did it! Happy New Year!
bravingmentalillness
I am glad you did!!! It’s difficult to discuss, but it is reality! 🙂
Shan Bae
Yea very difficult but I am so glad it came out this way.
bravingmentalillness
Hi! I nominated you for the Awesome Blogger Award!
Shan Bae
Awww omg that’s awesome!!! Thank you! I feel so cool. 😎
bravingmentalillness
You’re welcome and you deserve it 😀
Shan Bae
Aww 😌 so how does this work exactly?
bravingmentalillness
Haahaa You answer the questions I sent along with 5 people you want to nominee now with new questions. You create a whole new post like mine with a new award picture and post it. Basically I think everyone is a winner is the point. It’s lengthy so if you don’t have time, I understand 😊😀
Shan Bae
I’ve seen people do this but I’m not sure where you sent them. No I have time if someone took the time out to nominate me. Thanks!
bravingmentalillness
Ok that’s cool 😀 just let me know if you’ve got any questions… ask away 😀💜
stoner on a rollercoaster
thats horrible. I don’t understand why people have to behave like this. well. thanks for sharing maybe somebody will read it and learn to be kind and see beyond race and color.
Happy New Year to you and yours!