My broken heart laid in pieces
It is you who gifted me with these lies
And I naively believed them
I trusted your intent as I failed to catch my own heart
Fallen
Shattered to shards of jagged edges reflecting memories like bright sunlight
You hurt my eyes
The pain was too great to stand
You wouldn’t dare look at the palm of my hands when I cried many nights in an endless strife to piece together my love again
Attempts to manipulate your love to heal the parts of me that were fragile never worked
I could feel when the warmth of your heart lost focus
The caged pieces of me froze over
And we would begin living in a simulation of your very own twilight
The pain in my chest was immense as I tried to compress the bleeding
I wished for an antidote to this madness
But I fell victim to my own destruction when I found a way to erase you for sometime
I no longer felt the holes you punched in my gut
Addicted to replacing the pain of “something is wrong” with feeling numb
I said yes to foreign hands reaching into my darkness brewing a hatred
Her ways of curing the pain helped release the “feel good” drug
In my mind you were a compelling love I tried to rebel against
But it pains me to know that I was only ending my life
And yes you watched
You bared witness to an inhumane manslaughter that you never tried to stop
Is there a such thing as accessory to suicide
Because I know I died a million times
At the cost of your lies
I felt the butterflies erupt and leave the pit of my stomach
Through the holes you punched in it
Draped over
Dripping blood while I repeat the cycle of cleaning up my own heart
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